My Enneagram Journey: Embracing the "Strict Perfectionist" (and Learning to Lighten Up), with Insights from Tracy O'Malley

Have you ever explored something new about yourself, and it felt like a lightbulb moment – while other parts felt like an old, familiar coat? That’s been my recent dive into the Enneagram. It’s a remarkable system for understanding personality types – not just our actions, but the deep-seated motivations behind them. Discovering I’m an Enneagram Type 1, specifically the Self-Preservation subtype, through an insightful assessment and report by Enneagram Integration Expert Tracy O'Malley, has been both illuminating and, frankly, not all that surprising in some areas! Tracy calls this subtype "The Strict Perfectionist," and it’s offered a lot of clarity.

My passion is bringing tailored, done-for-you solutions to busy professionals and small businesses, helping you reclaim time and amplify your impact. Whether it's strategic planning or crafting that perfect, stress-reducing luxury getaway, my goal is to implement simple, effective systems so you can enjoy life and focus on what truly matters. This innate drive to improve things and ensure they are "right" is a core part of me. Learning that this is central to a Type One – this deep-seated need to be good and right – definitely resonated with what Tracy's report highlighted.

The truth is, I’ve always had a strong internal critic and a perfectionist streak a mile wide. There are times I’ve certainly felt like the "sheriff" or "warden," keenly aware of when things (or people!) are toeing the line of rules or processes. The Enneagram report from Tracy O'Malley detailed that Type Ones view the world in terms of how it matches (or doesn’t match) their ideal, focusing on correcting errors and working hard to improve things. That part? Definitely familiar territory. We often see what could be and feel a strong pull to make it so. This means we’re often people of high integrity and very high standards.

Of course, with this comes the "blind spots," as the Enneagram so wisely points out. That relentless inner critic can be exhausting, and the drive for perfection can sometimes manifest as impatience or being overly critical – of myself more than anyone, but it can spill over. The Self-Preservation One, driven by an underlying worry, often represses anger, transforming it into a kind of dutiful warmth or helpfulness, as Tracy's materials explain. Recognizing this pattern of holding back frustration until it "leaks out as annoyance, resentment, irritation, or righteous indignation" was a key insight.

Thankfully, over 20 years in project management, dealing with all sorts of personalities and pressures, has taught me a thing or two about tempering that outward critique of others. You learn to navigate, to guide, and to understand that "perfect" isn't always the most productive goal for a team. That said, I do still believe in honesty. If someone really doesn’t want my unvarnished thoughts, it’s probably best not to ask, because I tend not to sugar-coat!

So, how is this Enneagram awareness, clarified by Tracy O'Malley's work, shifting my perspective?

For communication, it’s about bringing more conscious compassion. Understanding my own patterns – especially that tendency to want to "correct" – helps me to pause. It allows me to consider how my input will land and to choose my words with more care, aiming for helpfulness over just being "right." And as I learn more about the other Enneagram types, it’s like getting a new lens to understand how others might receive information and what truly motivates them. It's about ensuring others feel heard and understood.

In leadership, this understanding is invaluable. Appreciating the different Enneagram types within a team or client relationship allows for a more tailored and effective approach. It's about recognizing that everyone has their unique way of processing information, tackling challenges, and receiving feedback. My aim is always to foster genuine connection and help individuals and businesses thrive.

This journey into the Enneagram, particularly as a Type 1, is ongoing. It’s not about changing who I am at my core, but about operating from a place of greater self-awareness and grace – for myself and for others, with helpful guidance like that provided by Tracy O'Malley. It's about finding that "serenity" the Enneagram speaks of, accepting things as they are while still striving, in a healthier way, to make a positive impact. It's about moving towards being more relaxed, flexible, and even making more time for fun – a conscious effort for a One!

What about you? Have you explored the Enneagram? Did it bring any "no surprise" moments or fresh revelations? If not and you'd like to, be sure to take your self assessment with Tracy.  I'd be genuinely interested to hear your experiences!